Talk: Kaivalyadhama, 2019. Regular. Occasional. Familiar.
This diary entry follows directly from the previous day’s, Ego Defence Mechanism. Sometimes when you sat down with Swamiji it seemed like the conversation was a continuation of a previous one – as if you’d just left the room for a few seconds. The beginning of this conversation was exactly that: it begins almost as if missing the first paragraph of thought.
What is regular should become familiar. What is occasional should become familiar.
But what is regular should not become occasional, and what is occasional should not become regular.
In India we eat with our fingers regularly. Occasionally we eat with a knife and fork. We become familiar with both.
There is the daily puja, then there is the Ekadashi puja and Havan. Regular and occasional, but we are familiar with both.
Why? What is the purpose?
Familiar is the broadest. The more familiar we are with something the more we know about a topic. Regular has to do with routine.
We become familiar with things so as not to create a block. But, the “I know” also develops with familiarity.
From familiarity comes “how to” manage so that we do not experience stress and unnecessary time pressure.
Occasional has a positive and negative side. The positive side takes care of itself.
The negative side we need to avoid. And so, comes the involvement of the mind and the mental condition. With the involvement of the mind we are unable to find the proper flow and speed.
Take the example of cooking. You have 40 minutes and know that it usually takes 30 minutes to prepare the food. So, before starting to cook, you give 10 minutes to another activity. Then during the 30 minutes an accident – a negative occasional occurrence – happens.
It occurred because of the “I know”, and the improper involvement of the mind. The mind was unable to find the proper speed and flow, so we can say there is a block. We must wait until the block goes.
But what is first?
The familiar. When we are not familiar there is a great possibility for the negative side to take place: the more familiar we are, the possibility of the negative decreases.
But the familiar is like the tip of an iceberg: The “I know” is a fragment of the real whole.
Investigate the regular, the routine work, and what you are doing regularly. In other words, as the Yoga Sutras says: Abhyāsvairāgyābhyāṃ tannirodhaḥ.
Then, there is time. The less present you are, automatically the goodness is less.
So, the question comes: how to move in time? What is your speed?
The cause of imbalance comes from the management.
Take for example the train. You arrive in time. The train is not yet there so you can make your way to the platform according to your pace.
But what happens if you arrive at the station and the train is already there? The time pressure exists, and so you move differently. Your movements are now determined by the presence of the train; not according to you.
How do you manage this? What is your mental state when moving according to the train?
[And in a family if one party develops the habit over the years so that they arrive late. The role of the other party is to adjust, to manage. When the other person is not there, they will realise their error.]
We aim to become more familiar with it so that we can keep the mental peace and tranquility, so that we don’t feel pressure, disturbance, or irritation: so that disturbance from the outside doesn’t occur. It doesn’t matter if we have 35, 30 or 25 minutes to prepare the food. Peace of mind will stay no matter what.
Without peace of mind, you lose control, you lose clarity. As peace of mind decreases you pressure yourself and the imbalance grows. With it comes the negative occasional occurrence.
The disturbance must come out, because if we were adequately familiar perhaps peace of mind could be maintained through proper management. If the positive occasional happens then we can choose how to spend those extra minutes.
This is the training program for the “I know”. From the first grade to the university, the time pressure exists.
How do we move and manage?
Today you/they may not experience the problem but tomorrow is a different day.
We must learn acceptance, patience and tolerance. To develop this, you must have a trainer. So, you need another person.
What you give you will get back. Do you give a problem or a solution? What is your future investment?